On a snowy November day, my daughter Kit and I were organizing four boxes of Christmas decorations, splitting them between us. Kit, now living on her own, wanted to have her own Christmas tree. Unpacking the ornaments brought back memories of loss and grief for me, as we had fostered 23 children over eight years, with some becoming part of our family through adoption.
Each homemade ornament held a story for Kit, even for those she had never met the creators of. As we went through the decorations, I came across a tree topper from our first Christmas together as a married couple. Despite the crack in the angel, symbolizing our broken marriage, I passed it to Kit, unsure if she would want it. To my surprise, she gladly accepted it, reminiscing about how she always wanted to place the angel on top of the tree but couldn’t reach.
Another ornament, a Santa sleigh and reindeer made by an eight-year-old foster child, evoked mixed emotions in me. The boy had crafted it at a foster family Christmas party, and we had lost contact with him after he left our home. Kit, sensing my emotions, took the ornament and shared fond memories of playing with it every Christmas.
Our family had a tradition of making holidays inclusive for our foster children. We would celebrate Christmas dinner on days that allowed the children to spend time with their families. Each child received unique ornaments to decorate the tree or keep as a memento. This tradition carried on even after they left our home, like the Santa and reindeer ornament made by our foster son.
As we uncovered more ornaments, including a reindeer ornament made of pompoms, memories flooded back. Dividing Christmas decorations had been a part of my past, symbolizing changes in family dynamics. Kit’s reflections on the ornaments revealed her perspective on our family’s journey through divorce and separation.
Decorating the tree this year feels different, with Kit’s positivity overshadowing any past sorrows associated with the ornaments. I look forward to seeing her tree and the new memories it will hold.